Just Because You’re Invited to an Argument Doesn’t Mean You Have to Attend

Recently there have been a number of time that is was clear an argument was coming.  They pop up in staff meetings, texts, social media comment sections, and even in the hallway between classes. But here’s a powerful truth: Just because someone invites you to an argument does not mean you have to attend.  Not every disagreement deserves your energy. Not every comment requires your response. And not every provocation is worthy of your presence.

Recognize the Invitation

Arguments rarely begin with, “Would you like to argue?” Instead, they show up as sarcasm, baiting comments, loaded questions, or exaggerated statements meant to spark reaction. The first step in declining the invitation is recognizing it for what it is.

Ask yourself:

• Is this conversation productive?

• Is the other person seeking understanding or victory?

• Will engaging move anything forward?

If the answer is no, you have permission to disengage.

Protect Your Energy

Energy is finite. Every leader, parent, educator, and professional knows that time and emotional capacity are precious resources. When we spend them defending ourselves against every criticism or reacting to every inflammatory comment, we drain ourselves — often for very little return.

Choosing not to engage is not weakness. It’s wisdom.

It says, “I value my peace more than I value being right.”

Pause Before You RSVP

When emotions rise, pause. Silence is often more powerful than rebuttal. A calm response such as:

• “I don’t think this is a productive conversation.”

• “Let’s revisit this when we can focus on solutions.”

• “I’m going to step away from this discussion.”

These phrases create boundaries without escalating tension. They demonstrate maturity and self-control.  These are two qualities that diffuse conflict more effectively than clever comebacks ever could.

Understand What’s Really at Stake

Many arguments are not about the surface issue. They are about ego, control, misunderstanding, or stress. When someone pushes for a reaction, they are often seeking validation or release.  You are not obligated to provide either.

In leadership especially, restraint is strength. When you model calm disengagement, you set a tone for others. You teach students, colleagues, and even your own family that conflict does not require combat.

Choose Growth Over Gratification

Winning an argument can feel satisfying in the moment. But what does it truly accomplish? Temporary validation? A bruised relationship? Lingering tension?

Growth often looks like walking away. It looks like choosing long-term trust over short-term triumph.  This doesn’t mean avoiding hard conversations. Some discussions must happen. Some conflicts require resolution. But there is a difference between constructive dialogue and reactive argument. One builds bridges. The other burns them.  Know the difference.

The Quiet Power of Declining

When you decline an argument:

• You keep control of your emotions.

• You maintain your credibility.

• You preserve relationships.

• You protect your peace.

Not every battle is yours to fight. Not every hill is worth standing on.

So the next time an argument invitation arrives — whether in person or online — pause before you accept. Ask whether your presence will make a positive difference.

And remember: you always have the option to decline.

Sometimes the strongest response is no response at all.

The Power Of Small Habits

As school leaders, we’re constantly juggling a thousand things: safety drills, parent emails, student celebrations, and everything in between. It’s easy to feel like improvement means taking on more. But what if real progress came from focusing on just one small habit over the next few months?

We often encourage our students to “start small”.  The same wisdom applies to us. Instead of trying to overhaul your entire leadership routine, pick one small, meaningful habit to build consistency and calm into your days.

Maybe it’s greeting students at the front door every morning, no matter how busy the schedule gets. Maybe it’s setting aside 10 minutes at the end of each day to jot down what went well. Maybe it’s sending one quick note of appreciation to a staff member before you leave the building.

These small habits might seem minor, but they create ripple effects. That daily greeting strengthens school culture. That reflection time helps you stay grounded. That appreciation note lifts morale and reinforces your positive presence.

The best part? Once that one habit becomes second nature, you’ll naturally find space for the next one.

So, over the next few months, don’t aim for a total leadership transformation. Aim for one intentional shift. Change one simple habit that aligns with the kind of principal you want to be. Small habits, practiced consistently, can quietly transform not just your routine, but your entire school community.

The Gift That Really Matters

The holiday season is here, and it's a wonderful reminder that the most precious gifts don't always have a price tag. While the joy of giving and receiving presents is undeniable, I want to suggest a different, more enduring gift for our children:  THE GIFT OF TIME!

As Jesse Jackson wisely put it, “Children need our presence more than our presents.”

Think about it:

• The newest gadgets eventually become outdated.

• Fashionable clothes wear out.

• The 'must-have' toy is quickly replaced by the next big thing.

But the gift of your presence in your child’s life is a constant. It's an irreplaceable treasure that never fades or goes out of style, no matter your child's age:  from the toddler years to the complexities of the teenage years and even early adulthood.

Focus on Connection, Not Cost

This holiday season, make a conscious effort to share some dedicated, quality fun time with your family. This doesn't need to be an expensive or elaborate activity. The true focus should always be on you and your family, fostering a deep connection.

For children of all ages, this could look like:

• Little Ones: Cuddling up to read their favorite book (even for the 100th time!), building a magnificent fort, or playing a simple board game.

• School-Age Kids: Baking cookies together, tackling a puzzle, taking an unhurried walk to see the holiday lights, or working on a craft project side-by-side.

• Tweens & Teens: Watching a movie together (with no phones allowed!), listening to their favorite music and discussing it, or simply taking a drive to chat without an agenda.

The specific activity matters less than the intentional, undivided attention you give them.

A Lasting Legacy

This simple, powerful gift will stay with you and with them for a lifetime. Long after the toys are forgotten, they will hold onto the memories of the time you spent together. These are the moments that shape their sense of security, love, and self-worth.

When your children eventually have families of their own, this will be the profound legacy they pass on.  The knowledge that nothing is more valuable than intentional time together. It will mean more to them than any material possession ever could.

So, amidst the hustle and bustle of this busy holiday season, make the decision to slow down and give the most important gift of all: YOUR TIME

Happy Holidays!

Top 10 Reasons I’m Grateful to Work at Rupert Elementary School

1. Our Students
   Every day, our kids bring joy, curiosity, and laughter into the building. Their joy makes Rupert a truly special place.

2. Dedicated, Caring Staff
   I’m grateful for a team that goes above and beyond.  Not because they have to, but because they genuinely care.

3. A Supportive School Community
   Families, guardians, and community partners work hand-in-hand with us to make school a positive, supportive space for every child.

4. A Culture of Kindness
   Rupert is a place where kindness is practiced daily. It makes coming to work a joy.

5. A Strong Commitment to Equity
   I'm proud to be part of a school that works relentlessly to ensure every student feels valued, included, and capable of success.

6. Collaborative Teamwork
   Our staff works together, shares ideas, lifts each other up, and celebrates each other.

7. Creative and Engaging Teaching
   Classrooms at Rupert come alive through innovative instruction and activity-rich learning. It’s inspiring to witness every day.

8. Family Atmosphere
   We check in on each other, support one another, and celebrate together. Rupert truly feels like home.

9. Our Commitment to Growth
   Whether it’s students or staff, Rupert is a place where learning, improvement, and personal growth are embraced.

10. The Opportunity to Lead This Incredible School
    I am deeply thankful for the privilege of serving as principal of Rupert Elementary. It is an honor to lead such a caring, talented, and inspiring school community.

Now.... find a coworker and tell them why you are grateful for them!

Success Has Many Paths

Recently, I came across a news story and interview with R.L. Stine, the beloved author of the Goosebumps series. He’s written over 300 books.  This is a staggering achievement that has inspired generations of young readers to fall in love with spooky stories and the joy of reading. But what stood out to me most wasn’t his long list of bestsellers or his worldwide fame. It was how he writes.

R.L. Stine types with one finger.

Yes, one finger.

In an age when writers have ergonomic setups, and typing speeds that rival computers themselves, this simple fact is both surprising and oddly refreshing. He doesn’t rely on technology, dictation, or a team of editors shaping his voice. Instead, he sits down, starts with a title, then creates an outline, and slowly — one key at a time — brings his stories to life.

It’s a reminder that success doesn’t always look efficient, high-tech, or even conventional. Sometimes it’s about finding the method that works for you and sticking with it, even if others might think it’s unusual.

R.L. Stine’s one-finger typing isn’t a limitation, it’s a testament to consistency, creativity, and a love for storytelling. It proves that there isn’t just one formula for success. There are countless paths, and the best one is often the one you carve out yourself.

Whether you’re an educator, a student, a leader, or an artist, the takeaway is simple:
Don’t get caught up comparing your process to someone else’s.
Do the work, stay true to your rhythm, and let your results speak for themselves.

After all, if R.L. Stine can write hundreds of books with one finger, imagine what’s possible when you fully lean into your own way of doing things.

“Is That the Hill You Want to Die On?” Choose Your Battles Wisely

Early on in my career I had a friend and mentor who would ask me, “Is that the hill you want to die on?” This phrase isn’t about surrendering your values. It’s about making intentional choices about where to invest your time, energy, and credibility.

What the Phrase Really Means

“Is that the hill you want to die on?” comes from military strategy. Soldiers would ask if a particular hill was worth the risk of heavy losses. In everyday life, it’s a reminder to pause and reflect: Is this issue truly important enough to stake your reputation, energy, or relationships on?

4 Practical Ways to Apply This Thinking

1. Clarify Your Core Values
   Before you engage in any conflict, ask yourself: Does this align with my principles or mission? If it doesn’t directly touch your values and mission, it may not be worth the fight.

2. Weigh the Impact
   Think about the ripple effects. Will standing your ground here change the outcome for the better  or just escalate tension? Sometimes it’s wiser to conserve your energy for bigger issues.

3. Consider Relationships Over “Winning”
   Not every disagreement needs a victor. Ask, How will this affect my relationships long term? Preserving trust and goodwill can often be more valuable than being “right.”

4. Use Your Influence Strategically
   Your credibility is like currency. Spend it on the issues that matter most, not every minor skirmish. People will take you more seriously when you only push hard for truly important matters.

The Bottom Line

Asking, “Is this the hill I want to die on?” isn’t about giving up; it’s about growing wise. By choosing your battles carefully, you protect your energy, preserve your relationships, and strengthen your voice for the issues that really matter.

Building Connections One Ball at a Time!

When it comes to adult professional development, we often think of workshops, lectures, readings, or collaborative planning .  However, sometimes what your team really needs is a hands-on, playful challenge to reconnect and refuel energy. That’s where an activity like Pipeline can work well. Each person holds a plastic pipe piece, and together the group must guide a rolling ball from the start to the finish without letting it drop. The challenge is to communicate, move quickly, and connect the pieces smoothly so the ball keeps moving as a team effort.

This Game Is Fun, Engaging, and Team Strengthening

1. It’s tactile and physical, not just “talk.”

After long days of sitting and meeting, staff often appreciate opportunities to move, interact, and get active. 

2. It naturally invites collaboration & role differentiation.

To succeed, the group must coordinate: who holds which pipe, who times the drops or passes, who catches or redirects the ball. Different people will naturally step into roles (leader, supporter, strategist). 

3. It encourages communication under mild pressure.

Teams must talk — often quickly — about how to route the ball, how to troubleshoot, and how to adapt when things don’t go as planned. That pressure (just enough to be fun, not overwhelming) helps bring out clear communication strategies and reveals how the team handles missteps together.

This simple but energizing activity reminds staff that teamwork, clear communication, and adaptability are key to success. By playing together, your school community strengthens bonds and builds collaborative spirit !