Children Need Our Presence More Than Our Presents

As educators, we understand the profound impact we can have on the lives of our students. While the holiday season often emphasizes giving, it's important to remember that what children need most isn’t wrapped in shiny paper or tied with a bow—it’s our time, attention, and care.

Children thrive on connection. A genuine smile, a moment of undivided attention, or simply being present for a conversation can mean more to a child than the most extravagant gift. These interactions foster trust, build self-esteem, and remind students that they are valued and seen.

In the classroom, presence looks like listening when a student shares a story, noticing when someone is struggling, and celebrating even the smallest victories. It’s about creating a space where children feel safe, supported, and encouraged to be themselves. These moments often stay with them far longer than material possessions ever could.

This season, let’s reflect on the power of our presence. Whether it’s sharing a laugh during a lesson, attending a school performance, or simply being a calm and consistent figure in their lives, our presence is a gift that lasts a lifetime.

The holidays remind us that the best gifts are not things, but the love and care we share with others. Let’s make a conscious effort to show up for our students—not just as educators, but as role models, mentors, and advocates. After all, the greatest impact we can have comes not from what we give, but from how we give of ourselves.

Remember, children don’t measure love in presents—they measure it in presence. And as educators, we have the privilege of giving that gift every day.

Supporting Through Loss

As an elementary school principal, I often reflect on the many roles I play in our school community. The roles extends beyond administrative duties, planning programs, meetings, and staff support. It also includes an emotional responsibility—a commitment to be present in the lives of our students, teachers, and their families during both celebrations and losses. One of the most challenging aspects of this role, and yet one that is incredibly meaningful, is attending the funerals of students, their family members, and the families of staff. This responsibility is a unique part of my position, but it’s one I take very seriously.  This week I attended two funerals for former students. I attended with staff members from my school.  We stood together, as we have many times before, to support each other and the families.  In my over 20 years in administration I have attended numerous services like these.  They never get easier for me.  I never have the correct words.   It is always awkward and uneasy.   But, I feel my attendance is important.    

When tragedy strikes, and a member of our community is grieving, my attendance at these services isn’t simply a formality; it’s a statement of solidarity. For the families, students, and staff experiencing loss, my presence shows that our school truly cares. These are the times when we come together, not only to mourn but also to support each other, to let them know they aren’t alone. Loss has a way of isolating people, and the presence of a familiar face—of someone who shares in the joy of their child’s growth or who witnesses their day-to-day lives—can help alleviate that isolation, if only a little.

For students who have lost a classmate, it’s especially important to show up, to remind them that our school is a safe, supportive place. Seeing me and our staff there, people who represent their school, helps them understand that this loss is felt by many, that it matters, and that there is a network of people around them who care deeply.

For our teachers, who give so much of themselves to their work, these moments provide a reminder that they are valued not only as professionals but also as individuals. Attending services for their family members, when they choose to share that part of their lives, demonstrates that our bond extends beyond school walls. We are a family in many senses, and showing up at these moments is one of the most meaningful ways to honor that.

The responsibility is difficult, no question, but it’s one that allows me to fulfill my role as a principal in the fullest sense. The impact that simply being there can have is significant, and it reminds us that our community is more than the sum of its parts—it is lives woven together, in joy and in sorrow. And as I step into these moments, I am constantly reminded of why I do what I do: to care for others, and to be a source of support, especially when it matters most.